Don't take anything personally

I am a big fan of Don Miguel Ruiz, the author of the Four Agreements and often refer back to the wisdom I discovered in his book in my daily life. One of the four agreements is:

"Don't Take Anything Personally: Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering."

It's always good to remember that when someone around us is having a bad day and tries to pass on some of their negative vibrations in our direction. We always have a choice of whether to take those vibes personally or not and if we live by that agreement then we understand that their negativity has nothing to do with us but is a part of their reality and no reason for us to carry any of that around. So think of that person with love and compassion and remember that for them "This too shall pass". I found this blog on the Four Agreements called Something Good, she lists all the Agreements and talks about her understanding and how they have affected her life. Good read! :)

The India Vibe

Time is flying by and I'm managing to completely neglect this blog. My mother told me that she wishes I write more short blog entries more frequently as she thinks that if they are too long people won't bother reading them. Hehe, she's probably right. Our behavior on the Internet is impatient and I know that only too well. We can't wait to click on the next button and want things fed to us fast. All in the blink of an eye!

A lot of things are happening in my life that have been keeping me from the blogging keyboard. I've been busy at work, busy teaching yoga and busy planning for a trip to India. Oh yes! I'm finally going back to India 14 years later. My first trip, although so great in many ways, was a massive culture shock and quite trying for the little young me at the time. But a few years ago I started feeling that India pull again, something magical, something deep, something that is difficult to put into words. I'm going with GG for 3 weeks around Christmas and New Years, so no Christmas trees and carols this year round, more like palm trees and ohm chanting. We're flying to Kerala, probably staying in Varkala, exploring the backwaters, heading up north for the hills and wildlife of Munnar and then traveling up to Chennai through Madurai, Trichy and Ponducherry. We are still planning the itinerary and a lot of work has gone into the research of that, and naturally so as there is a lot at stake, plenty of cash the plane tickets cost us that's for sure. I can't wait though to be practising Yoga in the land of Yoga just like this very bendy Yogi below ;)

Accepting the things we can not change

(1) Everything changes and ends
(2) Things do not always go according to plan
(3) Life is not always "fair"
(4) Pain is a part of life
(5) People are not loving and loyal all the time

David Richo lists these as the Five things we cannot change in his book by the same name. By dropping our resistance and by unconditionally accepting what is we are given the key to experiencing the hidden beauty in all of life's moments. The points above aren't "negative" although they can perceived as being so, they just tell it the way it is. That is the core of the matter, nothing that happens to us is either good or bad in nature until we label it so. Of course there are situations that we would chose over others, for example if we had a choice of winning the lottery or being in an accident and losing the use of our legs then I think all would chose winning the lottery. But as social psychologist Daniel Gilbert points out in his book Stumbling on Happiness, there is apparently little or no difference between the level of happiness the lottery winner and the paraplegic feel a year after the event. So what does this tell us? That life is what you make of it.

The paraplegic might have had an intensely spiritual experience in the aftermath of the accident, gaining insight and wisdom into his own being that has delivered a deeper level of acceptance into his life. The lottery winner realizes that happiness can not be bought and that having loads of money isn't all it's hyped up to be, demolishing the idea that "there" is better than "here". Because that is what we do much of the time, imagine that life will be better and more enjoyable when we get to a certain point, get promoted, new job, more money, bigger house or that one and only relationship we are looking for. The belief that you will find happiness sometime in the future is always going to disappoint. The only place we can really experience true joy is in the Now, for that is all there is, was and ever will be.

This year has been both the most difficult and the most rewarding of my life. Through disappointments and pain I learned so much about my true self, allowing me to reach understandings and insights into my spiritual being that probably would have taken much longer to get to if I hadn't gone through these difficult times. A miscarriage and shortly thereafter a break up of a relationship that I had believed in my heart would never break, shattered my world and woke me up to life like a smack in the face. But within that shock I experienced the gift of unconditional, endless love from a Being so eternally devoted to my wellness and growth that instead of feeling alone, lost, and bitter, I instead felt peace, compassion and everlasting love. And who is that Being? My true inner self, my Guide, God, Spirit, Oneness? The name doesn't matter, all that matters is the love I experienced and am still surrounded by. I only needed to accept what was happening to me and ask for guidance, and guidance was given, from so many directions. The people I met, opportunities offered, books lent to me, even status updates on Facebook from my friends. I also began looking within, for that is the only place anyone ever needs to go when a question arises, the answers are there if we just listen in for them. Listening seems to be the hardest task though, we ask all the time for help and answers are being provided but most of the time we allow the thought noise in our heads to distort what is being communicated to us. When we get caught up in Maya, the illusory world we are experiencing, and don't see "reality" for what it is, then we are disconnected from the source and miss the messages we are continuously being forwarded from beyond.

I experienced firsthand in one go that everything changed, things weren't going plan and life wasn't "fair". I was going through emotional and physical pain and people weren't being loving and loyal all the time, including myself. In those moments I discovered that the only way out of the suffering I was experiencing was to unconditionally accept what is. To say "Yes" to whatever was happening, no matter how painful it felt. And through that acceptance I experienced peace and joy like never before and relief from that suffering and pain. Much of this I found through my meditation practice, it's the place I connect to that infinite love and it allows me access to feelings of love towards my own being and others, and acceptance of who I am in this life.

My life has so much more joy and peace when I am accepting of what is. Everything that happens to us is another piece of the puzzle and the more challenging situations are actually gifts we can use to accelerate our spiritual learning process. Most importantly though is to retain a sense of humor, we're not supposed to take life so seriously! Life is a wonderful roller coaster ride of ups and downs and I accept all of them in equal measures. One of the wonderful things life is offering me now is a second chance at that relationship that broke earlier this year, now from a more loving and accepting place for both of us.

Time to open our minds

Found this really interesting documentary on the amazing phenomenon of crop circles. Check it out!

Nothing is too good to be true

Now a year has passed from the financial meltdown here in Iceland when all the three major banks went bankrupt in a matter of days. The whole country was in a state of shock and is still recovering from these events. I knew at the time that I needed to find some non conventional ways to haul myself out of this funnel of debt we all seemed to be spiraling into so I decided to start properly saving up. I set myself goals in regards to saving and also found ways to increase my income, such as changing jobs, getting a second job as a yoga teacher and taking on the odd film and web work. In the last year I have managed to save up more than ever before in my life and it has a lot to do with the fact that I make abundance my focus instead of worrying about what I don't have. The affirmation below has been a great help to reaching that state of mind, I've put it up on the wall in my flat and I recite it often.

Remember that everything we focus on becomes bigger, so if our main focus is on our debts and everything we lack in life then that will only increase the debts and that feeling of not having enough. True wealth is so much more than having money. I might not be "rich" by some standards but I feel I have true wealth in my life as everything I need comes to me when I need it.

Abundance Affirmation

Nothing is too good to be true.
Nothing is too wonderful to happen.
Nothing is too good to last.

My conscious awareness of the Divine Presence as my supply
is my supply. I am now consciously aware of the indwelling
fountain of overflowing abundance. Therefore, I AM abundant
supply. My consciousness is the very energy of money.

I AM the Spirit of Infinite Plenty. I am boundless abundance,
and with love in my heart, I let the universal riches stream forth
into perfect manifestation.

What is expressed in love must be returned in full measure.
Therefore, wave after wave of visible money supply flows to me
now. I am wonderfully rich in consciousness,
and I am bountifully supplied with money.

I now realize my plan for abundant living.

There is always an abundance of money, and I now let it
come to me. I am open to receive.

I cannot be limited, for I am the Shining Sun of Supply,
and God's wealth fills my world.

I am receiving. I am receiving now.
I am receiving all the wealth that the universe has for me now.

I do not depend on persons or conditions for my good.
God is the source of my supply and God provides his own
amazing channels of good to me now.

All that is mine by divine right now comes to me
speedily, richly, freely and easily. I am receiving now.

It is finished. It is done. I give thanks that I have received,
and that my good appears in rich appropriate form under
divine timing.

All is well in my world!

Ten Rules for Being Human

by Cherie Carter-Scott

1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it's yours to keep for the entire period.

2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called, "life."

3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial, error, and experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately "work."

4. Lessons are repeated until they are learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson.

5. Learning lessons does not end. There's no part of life that doesn't contain its lessons. If you're alive, that means there are still lessons to be learned.

6. "There" is no better a place than "here." When your "there" has become a "here", you will simply obtain another "there" that will again look better than "here."

7. Other people are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.

8. What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.

9. Your answers lie within you. The answers to life's questions lie within you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.

10. You will forget all this.

Your Choice: A Life of Chaos or a Life of Peace

Some people, when they hear of this topic may know or understand what it means since there is both chaos and peace within us. We have experienced and recognized both. We may say there is a chaotic path and a peaceful path.

Nobody wants chaos. When we hear of this topic, we may think we can choose between a peaceful life and a chaotic life. We can say that we want a peaceful life, but if we don’t pursue it rightly, we won’t find it.

The Buddha said, “there is no chaos here.” Those who want peace ought to follow the Buddha’s path; those who want chaos can walk away from the Buddha’s path. Other paths won’t bring us to know, see, and understand ourselves, or to look into the mind, but instead lead us to look outside of ourselves. Therefore, they lead us to chaos. If we look into our life or mind, we will have a peaceful life.

When we look outside of ourselves, we see the right or wrong of others. We don’t see the right or wrong of ourselves. We don’t see ourselves, so we don’t see our mind. When bad things or confusion, or even peace, arises, we don’t see it because we are looking outside of ourselves.

The Buddha told us to be with ourselves, to be with our body and mind, with our life and awareness. It’s said that we should simply be with sati-samadhi-panna (awareness-attention-wisdom) or that we should be one who knows, one who is awake and joyful as the Buddha taught.

If we follow this way, our lives will be peaceful and normal because greed-anger-delusion or sadness and gladness can’t disturb us.

We always forget or lose ourselves. When something happens, we don’t look into ourselves or our mind, then suffering arises within us. But we always blame others for our suffering which is actually caused by our not-knowing or lack of awareness. If we have awareness, we will watch ourselves all of the time. When something happens, caused either by ourselves or by others, we won’t forget ourselves.

Wise people advise us not to forget ourselves. Don’t let delusion or not-knowing or ignorance arise. Actually, there is no delusion or ignorance. It exists or arises when we forget ourselves or when we don’t have self-awareness.

Therefore, we talk only about “self-awareness.” If someone has self-awareness all of the time, he or she won’t be afraid of or discouraged by any problem, whether it is caused by him or herself or by others. When a problem arises, he or she will solve it without suffering because it is solved with sati-samadhi-panna. Regardless of how difficult the problems are, they are solved with a normal mind. Difficult problems are made easy. Heavy burdens are dealt with a stable, pure and confident mind.

The Buddha told us not to be afraid of problems or to run away from them because they will always follow us. But, we can escape with sati-samadhi-panna. If we try to escape without awareness, we will suffer.

The world would be peaceful if everyone solved their problems with sati-samadhi-panna. Everyone should return to themselves to contemplate and find the way to solve their problems with sati-samadhi-panna.

Luangpor Thong Abhakaro